A champion shows who he is by what he does when he’s tested. When a person gets up and says ‘I can still do it’, he’s a champion.
Evander Holyfield
Let me paint you a picture of how it went last night:
I got to the gym and was pumped up and ready to go. The trainer came in and regarded me with a look that said “Hmmm not bad, Lets see what he can do.” Then she started on the conditioning part of the class. This consisted of jump rope periods interspersed with push ups, sit ups, burpees, squats, among other things. After we had finished I had broken into a mild sweat but was feeling pretty good about myself. Then came the boxing part. This consisted of her setting varying amounts of time for rapid punches against heavy bags interspersed with varying amounts of rest periods. There was then some endurance training and then stretches to finnish off. When she left she commented on how well I had done and was looking forward to seeing me again. Then I had the Muay Thai Boxing class which went equally well but also focused a lot on kicks as well as punches. After the sessions I went home feeling like a million dollars!!.
Sounds pretty good eh? Well that’s the problem with paintings, they tend to include quite a lot of artistic licence to make the subject look better than it actually is. What is much better is a good old disposable 35mm camara. The ones like you used to get on holiday, or still do if like me you have had your digital camara stolen so many times that you have given up on them. Anyway, if I was to take a picture of last night with one of those it would look like this:
I arrived at the gym, I’m nervous. The subway had been hot and I had to go to the bank first before booking it to the class, so by the time I had reached the top of the stairs I had already broken out into a sweat. I was then shown the class area and told that the trainer will be along shortly. I was instantly made to feel a little unnerved as the room had these guys practicing on those rings that you see guys on in the olympics. Anyway they were holding themselves in all sorts of impressive positions that I would have had difficulty with two feet on the ground. It was humbling to say the least.
The trainer came in and I said to her it was my first time and she looked me over with a look of mild disdain. I like her, don’t get me wrong. I like a bad ass girl as much as the next man and the woman is just that, tattoos, piercings, the works, but it would have been cool to have been welcomed a little warmer. But when I think about it she is here to teach us how to hit things hard and not be a pussy, so it would be silly to start off like that. It was just unexpected.
Then the trainer told us to pick up a jump rope and start skipping. This, I thought, was ok as back in the day I could us a jump rope pretty well. Unfortunately the lesson took place in the present and I very quickly found out that I was crap at skipping at this point in time. But I got the hang of it after a few attempts, although I could only manage that 2 jumps between the rope thing that you see little girls doing on preschool playgrounds and not the super fast jump-rope-jump-rope-jump-rope thing that the amazingly well sculptured girl at the front of the class was doing.
After Jump rope we had to do 10 push ups followed by 20 sit ups. I struggled with both. Then more jump rope, then more push ups and some thing that for some reason is called a burpee. I could describe it to you but probably easier if you just google it as I don’t think I could properly explain it apart from the fact it freakin killed me. Just a few mins in and I was sweating buckets, was out of breath and in need of water like it was going out of fashion. At this point things get hazed. We did lunges and then squat jumps, by the end of which I felt like I could hardly walk. At some point we put on our gloves and started doing shadow jabs and punches. I’m seeing stars by this point. After a while of doing this we started punching the heavy bags. This I thought was going rather well until I get a familiar feeling in my stomach. “Oh no, no, no.” I thought but the sudden flow of saliva to my mouth confirmed my fear. Feeling the ultimate embarrassment I excused myself as quick as I could and made a B line for the bathroom where I just managed to shut the door and take basic aim before throwing my guts up. After a few mins composure I return to the class and go at it again. Same thing happens, punch, punch, punch, feeling good then…….not so good. Again I make the trip to the bathroom, puke and return. This time though when I return the trainer realises what I’m doing and says that I should sit out the rest of the class. I feel like crap. I had my heart set on doing well but I had grossly overestimated myself and underestimated how unfit I am. The people are nice though and when the class is done the trainer comes over and suggests some Gatorade and that next time I should let her know if I am having an issue and she might be able to make suggestions that will make it easier for me while I get used to the workout. All of a sudden she seems like the nicest person in the world and maybe she saw that regardless of how I felt I came back for more until I was told I should stop. Maybe she saw heart in my performance. I hope so but you would have to ask her to be sure.
A champion is someone who gets up when he can’t.
Jack Dempsey
Anyway, regardless I skipped out on Muay Thai. 0.75 of a class was enough for me.
I will write more tomorrow at some point but tonight i am going to the Toronto Festival of Beer to say goodbye to a good friend. It’s all gonna be vodka and soda from here on apparently. 😦